Volume 12, No. 4, Fall 2004	Previous Issues Subscribe to AT Messenger Download PDF Viewer
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You Are Your Child’s Best Advocate: A Foster Parent’s Story

School's back in session. Many parents look forward to the start of the school year. For some parents, particularly those of us who are parents of children with special education needs, the start of the school year brings a lot of stress. It often means trying to figure out a complicated education system, learning how to work within that system, and, ultimately, helping your child get the best education possible. It's made more daunting by the importance of the work. Your child's future could be hanging in the balance.

Where to Start

My introduction to the special education system has probably been a little different compared to that of most parents. I became a foster parent of a special needs child about a year and a half ago. I participated in his education process more or less on the periphery. I was involved in the support of his educational goals as defined by the school, but had no direct say in what those goals were. In the foster care system, only natural parents, legal guardians, or court sanctioned educational surrogates are allowed to approve any educational plan or sign any document.

In order to better advocate on behalf of my foster child, I started going through the process of becoming his educational surrogate. Now that I am there, looking back on what that took and comparing it with what I think still needs to be done, I realize that now is when the real advocacy work begins.

When I started to organize my thoughts about the process of advocating for my foster son, the first thing I realized was that I had some emotional baggage I needed to handle. I had recognized a number of academic issues with him, but always operated under the assumption that if he were provided with a stable, safe, and loving environment, he would eventually catch up and start performing at his grade level. It was very hard for me to face the fact that I needed to change my basic assumptions, which is not to say that I am lowering my expectations. I have realized that I need to keep my emotional reactions in check in order to be his most effective advocate. This has been hard for me to do. I can imagine that keeping emotions in check may be a significant challenge for many parents. But, it is important to try and see things as objectively as possible in order to make more effective and intelligent choices.

The second thing I realized was that I needed to get as much academic information about my foster son as possible. That included his Individualized Education Program (IEP), psycho-educational evaluations, report cards, and test results—anything that could help me understand his strengths and weaknesses, and that might give me some clues as to the best approach to take on his behalf. Try not to feel overwhelmed by the information you compile.

There are a number of resources available to help sort through the information you collect. The Parent Information Center of Delaware (PIC) is available to help parents understand and work with the education system. They have offices in Wilmington and Georgetown. Help is available either by phone or in person. You can reach PIC at (888) 547-4412.

Another great resource is the book Wrightslaw: From Emotions to Advocacy—The Special Education Survival Guide by Pam and Pete Wright. There is a lot of information contained in this book. It has been a great help to me in laying the groundwork and helping me to understand the process and plan for my foster son's education. The authors also host a Website, www.fetaweb.com, which features additional information.

Evaluations, IEPs and Testing

The documents involved in monitoring special education students can be intimidating. My stack is big and getting bigger. In it, I have results of a number of tests, a psycho-educational evaluation, and several IEPs. None of it has been easy to decipher. Keep in mind that much of the information being compiled by schools is not designed to be easy for parents to read or understand. It has been designed to help the schools meet legal and reporting obligations. Read the information and make notes about anything that you do not understand. Meet with the school and try to get your questions answered. If a meeting does not work, don't be afraid to ask for help. It can be a very frustrating experience. Attempt to learn more about how the school works with special education students. The more you know, the more effective an advocate you will be.

Every parent of a special education student is at a different point in the process. You may have had an evaluation done and an IEP already set up. You may just be discovering that your child has some academic needs that must be addressed. I am still working on interpreting the IEP and psycho-educational evaluation and figuring out my best approach. I am considering having an outside evaluation done. One significant revelation that I have had is that there are a number of things to consider if you are planning to have your child evaluated outside of the school system. I did not realize the importance of figuring out what type of evaluation should be done. You should select an evaluator based on your child's specific needs or issues. Do not select an evaluator based on general reputation alone. Talk to other parents, and educational or medical service providers to get a sense of “who is doing what well” in Delaware. At this point, we have not had a second evaluation done, but plan to have it done within the next month.

Everyone's advocacy experience will be different. There are so many variables including your child's specific needs, the school system you are working with, your knowledge of special education law, and many other factors that play into this experience. Here are a few things that I have learned that apply to most advocacy experiences:

1) Education is empowerment. It is important to educate yourself about the system.

2) Emotional outbursts will make dealing with schools more difficult—it is important to keep emotions in check.

3) Planning and organization will help you formulate and execute a successful education strategy for your child.

4) Regular communication with the school is important—you will need to become a very involved parent.

5) Patience and persistence will pay off in the long run.

This article was written and submitted by a foster parent based on his experiences. In order to protect the privacy of the child, the author’s name has not been included with the article.